kubbypan:

I made this blog because my school friends follow me on my main blog. So this is my ‘rant about whatever I want and not worry’ blog. Usually I will rant about my problems, but today I had the biggest scare of my life. My best friend got extremely worked up, and mad. She was hitting baseballs with her bat to calm down, if she missed, she threw the bat. Then, she called her bf and he made her more pissed, while on the phone with him, she was hitting a chain fence with the bats. She threw the bats on the ground, it was the worst I had ever seen her. She has depression, and a counselor. She cuts herself and has attempted suicide twice. Tonight though, she really attempted suicide. She actually can’t remember a majority of tonight. Anyway, she threw her phone, and I picked it up, I was yelling at her boyfriend for making her worse, but when I got off the phone, our other friends who were with us, said she was gone. So we searched for about half an hour, I was freaking out the whole time, just begging her to come back. I thought she was dead, I thought I was going to find my best friends corpse tonight. She came back though, and we both ran to each other and started sobbing while not letting go of each other. I am so glad she’s back, but I’m so afraid of the day where she doesn’t come back. We got lucky tonight, she ran onto a really busy road and wanted to get hit. Now she’s staying the night with me, but I’m afraid to leave her alone, although, she gave me both her knifes just in case, I still don’t trust it. I will not be able to stand it if she dies. I too am suicidal and cut myself, so having my best friend commit suicide will put me over the edge, although no one knows. I don’t want that, cause despite what I sometimes think, I know I’m loved and my death, especially by suicide, would be horrible for the people I love. I am so happy she’s okay though, so, so happy.